The way they were

For some reason I'm in a sappy mood today. I'm not sure, but I just feel and sad. I was looking at some pictures from various things (dating back to 2 years ago), and I just realized how much things have changed. Good, Bad, Ugly, everything. Who's hair cut looked like what, who started wearing make-up, who got their braces off. It's all these things. And the way they're personality was. Who was mean then and now their nice. Who was quiet and now we can't get them to shutup, or who just stopped hanging around all of us in general. I just want to go back to that moment in time, and just make a pact with everyone, that we won't drift. When I was looking at all these pictures, I realized all the funny things that went on in them. All the inside jokes, all the painful or beautiful memories. The first thing I wanted to do was call up everyone and bring them up and just laugh and smile and reminisce. And then I realized - I can't do that anymore. We don't talk.We're not close. You've moved on, I did something terrible. Whatever the circumstance, I was just alone to look at those pictures and think about the times we all used to share. Now things have changed. Leaves fell off the trees, We grew, and time's just changed. But before I started to have my pitty party, I realized maybe they changed for a good reason. Because God has a reason for everything. I'm so happy that God gave me these people, in those points of time. We laughed, we cried, we got through the tough times and passed through the good ones. I got stronger, I'm sure they've gotten stronger. Maybe we didn't have as much in common as we thought. But I know God put us together for a reason. So if you're reading this, if you're from my past, if you're my friend in the present, if we've drifted, if we've come closer, I want to say thanks. You've played a part in my life that you may not have known about, and I thank God for you :)

Running on Empty

Lately I'm just super drained. Not from the strenuous activity I perform (Oh believe me - it's not that), but just drained in a sense of faith. I've just really really been low on it. Like I believe in God and everything, I just don't trust him very much to take care of various situations. Like I can go on and pray to him about stuff, pray that things get better, and just pray pray pray, but I don't have much faith that it'll happen. I just assume things will never get better. That I'll be forever kicking a wall trying to transform it into a door. And that's not what I should be doing. Anyway I discussed this situation with my very trusted friend (we'll just call her Mrs.T ;]) and she really helped me out a lot. I realized that this whole time I've been praying for the wrong thing. I was asking God to get closer to me.But what I didn't realize is that I couldn't get closer to him without having faith in him. If I didn't trust him fully, how could I be close friends with him? It didn't make any sense! So now I've been praying that God will help me to trust him more, and that he'll renew my faith in him. And I'm starting to see results!I've been tested, but I'm getting stronger. And I love it :)