The way they were

For some reason I'm in a sappy mood today. I'm not sure, but I just feel and sad. I was looking at some pictures from various things (dating back to 2 years ago), and I just realized how much things have changed. Good, Bad, Ugly, everything. Who's hair cut looked like what, who started wearing make-up, who got their braces off. It's all these things. And the way they're personality was. Who was mean then and now their nice. Who was quiet and now we can't get them to shutup, or who just stopped hanging around all of us in general. I just want to go back to that moment in time, and just make a pact with everyone, that we won't drift. When I was looking at all these pictures, I realized all the funny things that went on in them. All the inside jokes, all the painful or beautiful memories. The first thing I wanted to do was call up everyone and bring them up and just laugh and smile and reminisce. And then I realized - I can't do that anymore. We don't talk.We're not close. You've moved on, I did something terrible. Whatever the circumstance, I was just alone to look at those pictures and think about the times we all used to share. Now things have changed. Leaves fell off the trees, We grew, and time's just changed. But before I started to have my pitty party, I realized maybe they changed for a good reason. Because God has a reason for everything. I'm so happy that God gave me these people, in those points of time. We laughed, we cried, we got through the tough times and passed through the good ones. I got stronger, I'm sure they've gotten stronger. Maybe we didn't have as much in common as we thought. But I know God put us together for a reason. So if you're reading this, if you're from my past, if you're my friend in the present, if we've drifted, if we've come closer, I want to say thanks. You've played a part in my life that you may not have known about, and I thank God for you :)

Running on Empty

Lately I'm just super drained. Not from the strenuous activity I perform (Oh believe me - it's not that), but just drained in a sense of faith. I've just really really been low on it. Like I believe in God and everything, I just don't trust him very much to take care of various situations. Like I can go on and pray to him about stuff, pray that things get better, and just pray pray pray, but I don't have much faith that it'll happen. I just assume things will never get better. That I'll be forever kicking a wall trying to transform it into a door. And that's not what I should be doing. Anyway I discussed this situation with my very trusted friend (we'll just call her Mrs.T ;]) and she really helped me out a lot. I realized that this whole time I've been praying for the wrong thing. I was asking God to get closer to me.But what I didn't realize is that I couldn't get closer to him without having faith in him. If I didn't trust him fully, how could I be close friends with him? It didn't make any sense! So now I've been praying that God will help me to trust him more, and that he'll renew my faith in him. And I'm starting to see results!I've been tested, but I'm getting stronger. And I love it :)

Are you listening?

If you know me really well, you know that I am super super loud. And it's hard to miss anything that I say. But lately I feel like no one hears me when I talk. I mean, they do, but are they really listening? Do they really understand what I'm trying to say? Do they know how I feel? Everytime I ask myself this, the answer is no; they aren't listening, they don't understand, they don't care how i feel. It's pretty lame. Life is hard. And it's even harder when you feel alone. I've felt alone for a while now. Maybe things will change. Maybe my old friends will realize that I wasn't wrong. Maybe I'll finally move on from the things holding me back. Maybe I'll rise above these circumstances and come out a better person. Anyway, I hope something changes. But that could be too much to ask.

If You're Too Cool...

If you're too cool to come to church, then why come? I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about the kids who come with their friends and have never been. No, that's not it at all. I'm talking about the same group of kids, who have been to church forever, and know exactly how to act. But I guess knowledge means nothing, because they sure don't act like they should. No, Fools is more like it. It's gotten ridiculous and out of hand. On wednesday nights, I see the same group of kids, who think they're too good to listen to the lesson, and assume they just know everything there is to know about God, and just sit and laugh and talk and stare at everyone else when worship's going on. They're constantly laughing and talking and texting during the lesson, and the invitational is just a mere time to sit there and be respectful for about ten seconds before leaving. So what's the point of even going? I mean, you're obviously way too good to listen or even act like you care. You don't give any one else who wants to worship respect, especially God. Realize that this is God's house. Not "your church". You spit in God's face when you act like that. But i guess you're to wrapped up in your own selfishness to realize it. It's really ridiculous. If you just want to hang out and chat, go to the mall, the movies, a restaurant, anywhere! I'm tired of the fact that by you not setting an exmaple, or even just being quiet, you could be letting someone's life slip through your fingers. If you just really don't care that much, then all I can do is pray for you and hope that you change. So if you're reading this, I challenge you to take this next step. Even if you think "well maybe that's me." "that's not me at all." or "how dare she right that about me, I want you to take my challenge. For the next week, until next Wednesday night, I want you to pray that God gives you an attitude of worship. I challenge you to pray that you have the strength to pay attention,and be quiet. I challenge you to pray that maybe if this isn't you, the people who it is, will see the error of their ways, and then fix it. Go ahead and take my challenge. I promise you, my God is a God of miracles. Let him show off his work.

Hangover? Not so much.

Well the year is finally here. 2008 came in with a boom of fireworks for me last night around midnight, and I had a blast! But I'm looking at other things, and I feel really bad for people today. My first day of 2008, I spent with my best friend and some other friends eating mexican food and then seeing a movie. Super fun! But alot of other people I know, spent their day holding the trash can to their face and feeling miserable because they have a hangover. And you really want me to feel sorry for you? You aren't old enough to drink, and it's not cool anyway. But whatever. It's just obnoxious how people make this huge deal about this is the year to change. The new you. Etc, etc. Really now? Because all I see is the same person in yet another year.

New year

Well it's almost here, 2008. I can honestly tell you i'm not one for resolutions, because I never ever ever follow em. Like at all. I mean, I'm all for self improvement and such, but I perfer to do it on my own terms. Soooo I'd love to tell you what my resolutions are, but yeah, I don't have any. lol. So, I'll just tell you what I would like to see in 2008:

THE LINDSAY LIST

2008 EDITION

I would like to see...

• Nice people, Nice faces. I'm sick of rudeness.
• My room finally get painted! I'm ready.
• A Jamba Juice, Taco Milagro, Freebirds, and a good Chinese takeout in my hometown.
• Less news about Britney going crazy.
• Myself finally learn to play my guitar, after having it for 2 years.
• And myself actually finish a story I've written.
• More happiness and less misery
• A cold cold cold day where I live
• A good romantic movie. I'm tired of the same endings!
• More people come to Jesus!
• Change in the world.
• More kids my age having fun without drinking or doing drugs
• Cute purses
• And the absolute perfect day

Okay, so maybe some of the things on my list sound crazy, but hey, I can dream:)

Have a great 2008!

Cleaning Cleaning and more Cleaning

I've been cleaning my room all day. Now get this, my room was clean! Crazy huh? Well i decided to organize it, and get the junk that was just put up in the corner nicely in a nice little box for a garage sale. So i'm halfway done,and I must say I'm pretty happy with the results :) Well anyway, while I wa cleaning I stumbled upon an old diary of mine. LOL. I laughed so hard when I read it. Isn't it funny how we used to think things would like be the crisis of the world, and it was so crucial. And a couple of years go by, and you dont even remember it until you read about it. Crazy huh?